Les blanches exotiques

Re: the Vye Yuh Linn submission; this is another case of exotic white people stealing instruments that don’t actually belong to them. It’s believed that Vye Yuh Linns are crudely adapted from from similar instruments that emerged on the Asian steppes, played by Turk and Mongol tribes (China, today, has a more sophisticated and beautiful instrument, the erhu, that is of similar descent; there is likewise an Arabic instrument called the rabab). You can find them in China, Japan, and India; in India, especially, they’re used for normal Karnāṭaka and Hindustani music.

Hey. Love your blog. I’ve always wanted to play this really exotic instrument called the “Vye Uh Linn.” It looks really nice and it feels like I’m in Yoorupp whenever I hear it play, like I can connect with the exotic whites in a way I once never thought possible. I’m obsessed with listening to the recordings of famous Vye Uh Linn players such as Jahshwa Bel (such a cool name! I think I’ll name my cat after him) and Hilury Hann. There are even some famous Vye Uh Linn players who are not exotic whites, like Sarah Chang (even though she grew up in an exotic white country).

Anyways, I was wondering where I could find this exotic white instrument (the name is too complicated for me to keep typing it). I hear they’re difficult to find outside of white countries, so I was wondering if you knew any stores or white culture conventions in civilized countries where I can find them. Thank you!

although it has (unfortunately) evolved in recent years, due to the white population’s assimilation into normal society, becoming more appreciative of sensuality and aesthetics, the dominant theme of white culture continues to be Puritanical. like the ancient colonists of Nyu Inglan, their life is driven by their obsessive muting of desire, and their plain, ascetic sensibilities, which is apparent in their material culture and their spirituality.

unlike most other peoples, who naturally seek to show off their wealth and status, as well as to create it, by adorning their bodies with luxurious objects, the whites seek to dress as plainly as possible. even the most well-to-do whites will not wear anything fancier than a strand of pearls or a pair of small diamond earrings to set themselves apart from the lower classes. 

just came back from an exotics meditation class.

they were in underground cave full of wall mirrors - that reflected the soul purification process that they must go through, with quiet music and dim lights to enter the realm of subconsciousness where all they can hear is their shaman’s commands.

clad in their ritual garb of nike “sports bras” and “sweat-tights” they alternatively lay, sat, kneeled and squatted on nike “gym mats” (even though nike is a hellenistic goddess she is very much worshipped by the exotics)

they also chanted in Sanskrit but are apparently unable to understand anything but the words “inner peace”.

much to my disappointment, the shaman informed me that this practice has actually been adopted from peoples that the exotics encountered, and thus is not of exotic origin. apparently the exotics were a simple, contented people who never had any need for meditation practices until the 20th century

please sign this petition to stop the insidious infiltration of our cultures into their beautiful, rustic and traditional exotic culture!

I finally found the courage to return to Costco after my life-changing outing. This time, I did more than just gawk at the beautiful white people in their native garb-the parka. 

After losing my bearings among the ceiling-high boxes of prepared foods, I made my way to the heart of Costco– the freezers. I spoke to a handsome white man. He told me his family comes to Costco from miles away. He said they come to buy 8lb blocks of cheese because they’re never quite sure when they’ll be able to return.

How shocking! In the wikipedia articles I had read, white people never seemed to want for anything. I gave the man a hug and wished him luck on his way. 

I nearly cried seeing him haul away his cart full of wonton soup, knowing full well this may be his last trip. I hoped his parka would keep him cool in the “Chevy” (a vehicle popular among less fortunate whites) he came in on. 

White culture isn’t like it is in the movies, they have problems too. 

Costco, is there no end to your wonders and lessons?

Sunday was my sorority’s exotic white presenting ceremony. All the new girls wore long white dresses to display our purity, while the “actives” (girls already in the sorority, for you normal people) wore black dresses as a display of age. We were presented by our fathers, to show how we are being passed in ownership from our fathers’ homes to the sorority house. Then our “big sister”, a girl in the sorority who is not a blood relative but has taken a liking to a specific new member, said a short speech about her “little sister” and the little received a rose, our ancient white girl symbol, and a necklace with our sorority letters on it. When we wear our necklaces fraternity boys can identify us as belonging to a house, and then they can determine if they would like to go out with us or not.

A few normal people walked by while the ceremony was going on and looked at us. I was so happy that our culture was on display, otherwise our special rituals may be forgotten.

Here’s an example of a gorgeous exotic white painting that will cover a whole wall of my old school’s library. As we can see, it’s a representation of key roles in traditional exotic society (sports for men, books and babies for gals). Originally there was the starbuck’s lady standing on the right, but they replaced it with a normal-looking guy so we can see how inclusive exotic folks are.

   It can be taken for granted that in normal culture, teachers are respected, fairly compensated, and are treated well. I have discovered that in exotic American culture, teachers and scholars are met with distrust and are often accused of elitism and of being incompetent in nearly everything. It makes no matter to the exotics that teachers begin their days before sunrise, spend many hours on their feet, use their breaks to be hall monitors, deal with students who need extra help or have trouble at home, grade papers late into the night, buy classroom supplies with their own money, and lecture to over a hundred kids a day. No, in fact, in exotic white culture, it has become something of a sport to make the lives of educators as difficult as possible.

There is, however, a way for teachers to gain some recognition and appreciation for their work. In white culture, there is often an award given to a single teacher for an entire year, called “The Teacher of the Year” award, which can only be assumed to mean that the “Teacher of the Year” gets to officiate over holidays and parades throughout the school year. We have reliable intelligence that tells us that prestigious gifts to the “Teacher of the Year” are a certificate verifying their status for the school year, a book of coupons, and a giftcard to a local restaurant. The most covetous gift, however, is a parking spot (whites drive cars to get everywhere) that has “Teacher of the Year” painted on it. This parking spot is often several spots over from the school’s “principal’s” parking spot, meaning that on a good day, the Teacher of the Year can make a quick getaway after the school bell rings, or, on bad days, is the perfect trap for the principal to corner and speak with the teacher (the latter is less likely, the school principle often only stays part of the day unless something as important as sport should be on the schedule in the evening.)

So how does one become “Teacher of the Year” in white culture? There is no exact formula, but research has provided some clues. Namely, a teacher must have been teacher for more than five years at the school. The teacher will likely not teach any arts or enrichment classes, since whites often shun any activity that does not provide immediate cash flow for their God of Capitalism. A “coach” who works part time as a teacher, so that he or she may “coach” an afterschool activity (American football or cheerleading) is often eligible for this award. The most important criteria of a teacher hoping for the Award is to never rock the boat, a phrase which means “don’t question the administration or teach in a way that isn’t wrote, boring, mindnumbing, or produces independent thinkers, fore this angers the Capitalist God”

Needless to say, the way white American culture treats their educators is truly bizarre!